The New Year, The New Me

Well, it’s 2016!

Sure, I could talk about all of the promises I’ve made to myself this year, but we all know that by the end of the month I had already messed up on more than I can count. Between sickness, an infant, and a million different distractions from every direction my “good intentions” were left in the dust.

Does that mean I am giving up on those resolutions I made?

Of course not!

A few years back I set my writing to the wayside and let it collect dust. It was the best thing I had ever done for myself, to be honest. At the time I needed space; I needed time away from something that I loved to do in order to get a fresh perspective. The idea that I needed to write something spectacular in order to get it out there had taken over my love of writing. Everything had been replaced with the ideals that if I couldn’t show off what I wrote and feel good about it, it was crap. A steaming pile of poo, if you will. I wasn’t sure what had caused this line of thinking, though. So it affected my mood toward writing, it affected my mood toward others…

I knew something was wrong.

I slowly realized that it wasn’t that my writing wasn’t good, it was that my line of thinking toward myself that had caused this. I wasn’t myself; I had locked myself away in my own mind to not deal with reality. So I got help, I restructured myself, I let go of toxic relationships, and I rebuilt the ones with those I love.

Now here I am.

I may not be in the place I need to be, but I am working on it. Ever so slowly, my writing has again become a priority in my life. While I have a goal to be published this year (by any means), I no longer take myself or my writing too seriously and allow myself to be locked away in my own head. I’m happier for it, too.

So this is my year. I have goals, and I will meet them. I will fail at times, but I will strive to be better. I’m discovering so many new things about my writing that makes me excited again that I can’t wait to begin.

This is the new writer me. I like it so far.